Once in clear view of an entire nightclub of pedestrians. Iosef watched Wick mow down his entire security detail twice. Iosef’s death was slow and agonizing as he watched John hunt him down like he was Michael Myers. Most of Wick’s victims are killed and killed quickly, running face first towards him like idiots despite their own acknowledgement of his skills. He’s simply shot in the face mid-sentence while crying to John Wick that it was “Just a fucking dog!” The simplicity of his kill was purposeful, however. In some ways the kill of Iosef Tarasov (Alfie Allen) is the tamest of the film. “Everything’s Got a Price, Bitch” - John Wick This poor soul arguably died in the worst way possible during a samurai sword motorcycle accident and there are a lot of ways to die really badly from samurai sword motorcycle accidents. This poor bastard’s arm then falls into the spoke of the back wheel this hilariously seizes the motorcycle, flips it backwards, and slams the unlucky guy head first and upside down into both the pavement and wheel of another moving motorcycle. He then slices his entire arm off at the shoulder. Wick, in the midst of this aforementioned samurai sword motorcycle massacre stabs the man chasing him via motorcycle in the abdomen with a samurai sword. Go home and watch Full House reruns or whatever because you’re done for the day. I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you’re in a motorcycle chase after someone and they pull out a samurai sword? They win. But we’ve seldom seen a slow eyeball stabbing quite like this before. Now, we’ve seen people stabbed in the eye in horror flicks a hundred times. ![]() Wick slowly shoves a knife bit by bit into the next guy’s eyeball. What comes next would make even Jason Voorhees himself cringe. Forcing it so deep into his brain the guy was probably accessing memories of his own birth. He then slap punches said knife down three more times. Wick takes one assailant down by sticking a knife directly down the top of his head Steven Seagal Under Siege style. One scene in particular is an insane knife fight culminating in one of the most slasher-inspired moments of the franchise. While you can certainly argue the quality of these sequences, it’s a task the filmmaking team accomplished. John Wick 3 was tasked with somehow upping the action and death sequences and keeping them fresh. “Eye Can’t Believe You’ve Done This” - John Wick 3 I’m not walking right just thinking about it. All the way through the magical rainbow bridge. He then (while the knife is still deep up in there) pulls the knife back towards himself swiftly ripping the man from groin to….well you know. From behind, Wick reaches between this man’s legs and stabs him in the crotch. This one definitely takes the pain cake.Ī random hitman is firing upon John in the subway when he drops to one knee behind him. This one is a very simple, fast and extremely hateful kill that takes place almost immediately after the aforementioned pencil incident. Then for good measure shoves it deeper with both hands. He slams the man’s head down on the counter and stabs the pencil into his EARHOLE. ![]() But what comes next might be hard to hear. Wick grabs a second pencil and stabs suitor number two in the hand and lower right side. ![]() He grabs a pencil meant for the dinner tab off the shelf and stabs one man directly in the throat as the other man grabs him from behind. Amidst the scene where everyone and their mothers are hitmen just hanging out on the street like Jay and Silent Bob, Wick gives us a recreation of the infamous pencil murders.Īs Wick struggles by, two men eating at what looks like a neon IKEA street cafeteria attack him. A fucking pencil.” The line is echoed in the John Wick 2 opening when Abram (Peter Stormare) tells the same story followed up with the hilarious, “Who the fuck can do that?” Finally, in the best bit of violent fan service one can ask for, John Wick 2 shows instead of tells. In the first John Wick, Viggo (Michael Nyqvist) tells his son “I once saw him kill three men in a bar….with a pencil. “Sorry, your face looked like a pencil sharpener”- John Wick 2 Let’s have a look at the top five gnarliest John Wick kills, so far… Who would you be more scared of? A slasher icon or the Baba Yaga himself? Do we need to add “Don’t kill dogs or steal cars” to Randy’s Scream rules of surviving a horror movie? Wick’s victims, well, they all live in their own personal horror movies. Still, as Harry in True Lies puts it, “Yeah….but they were all bad.” Let’s say they were hunting you, however. That’s around double the amount Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers have. But Wick has single handedly killed nearly three hundred folks across a mere three films. When you think of John Wick you probably don’t think of slasher films.
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